Monday, October 12, 2020

THIS YEAR, I'M GONNA CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY

 


Now, chile, it comes every year and for the most part, it’s a regular day that I do not acknowledge. I make sure it’s hidden from Facebook-because why are you in my business Facebook?  It’s something I never freely share on the job (we can almost omit this one, seeing as though I haven’t had a job since the Pandemic).

I can recall coworkers wearing safety pins of dollars on the job and thinking “okay girl, we get it, it’s your birthday, AND?” I would give the biggest side eye when people posted their cashapps on social media for their special days, thinking “sis, if you needed money, that’s all you had to say”. I have a cousin who celebrates her birthday nearly the ENTIRE month of June- and I have never understood why. Until now.

I don’t know if celebrating made me feel old-keep in mind, I’m still in my 30’s. Many would say I’m still very young, although others may swap out Spring Chicken for Wise Fall Goose, but whatever.  Maybe it was because I felt there was no reason to celebrate since I had not achieved my life goals, like homeownership, writing for tv, big money, straight teeth-girl my list was all over the place! I’m not sure if it was because I grew up in the struggle and my parents(WHEN I SAY PARENTS, I MEAN MY MOTHER) couldn’t afford to celebrate my birthday, which laid the foundation of me thinking that the day simply wasn’t important. Maybe it was all of these things.

This year is different. Although I have reached many of my goals, and the others seem so close I can smell them, I realized that life is the gift. Life is what I should celebrate. Is my life nothing, because I don’t have a million dollars in the bank? Is my life worthless, if I don’t have the perfect smile or the perfect credit score?  GIRL! Do you know how many broke HAPPY people I know!? It’s not because they don’t desire nice things, but those nice things don’t make or break their perspective on life and happiness.

Corona has come and made itself comfy, taking a few of my family members whilst here. I have lost former co-workers to unsuspecting deaths. I have friends that suffer from depression and anxiety, and even classmates that are still stuck at the Homecoming, our senior year.   I’m realizing that life may never be the exact way I want it, but if it’s here, I should feel privileged!  I’m honored to take another trip around the sun this year! I’m finally feeling like I understand my purpose a bit better. I feel like I have a better grasp on what really matters. I feel like it’s okay to celebrate existence. It’s okay to celebrate health and income. I feel like it’s okay celebrate where you are in life. And even when all of these things have reached mediocre levels, I feel like it’s okay to celebrate nothing at all. Life really is what we make it.  My birthday has never been special, because I never made it that way. This year, that changes. My birthday is a BIG DEAL. I may not travel or have some huge party, but being that it is THIS WEEK (10/15), the celebration has already started! And I may even backdoor on my prior thinking and post my cashapp!

Celebrate your life guys! It’s the only one you’ll get!*waits on someone to ask about reincarnation*