Monday, January 12, 2015

10 DISADVANTAGES TO SLEEPING WITH A MARRIED MAN, the comical truth





1)    The truth is, although no one makes him feel the way you do, he more than likely will NEVER leave his wife…at least not for you anyway. She knows his secrets, she knows his weaknesses, and most importantly, she knows his social security number.

2)    Although you may feel superior to her, because you wear lingerie for him and she doesn’t..Truth is, if he WERE your husband, there’s a good chance that after catering to the house, the children AND him, lingerie could very well be last on the list. So odds are, if you ever trade places with her, most days, you’ll be wearing granny panties as well.

3)    It’s really not all its hyped up to be. I’m not sure if Scandal or Mary Jane is to blame, but there is nothing fascinating about ducking and dodging a man’s wife, or constantly being referred to as ‘my friend’. And I have yet to realize what is so sexy about discovering your name programmed in his phone as “Frank”.

4)    After you’re done critiquing her..after you’re done judging her…how she doesn’t primp enough..how she doesn’t cook enough…how she doesn’t listen to him….how she just doesn’t understand his needs like you do, Please understand that you only have his side of the story. And with him being deceitful in his marriage, I’m sure HIS STORY, has more fiction than fact…more like a fable if you will. And furthermore, if you'd give her the chance, I'm sure there are plenty of reasons why she is, they way she is.

5)    Just because he spends money on you..and even spends time with you, can he take you to a restaurant? Can he take you to the movie theater? Can he take you to church? Or the family reunion? If he can, then please be advised, HE IS CHEATING ON YOU WITH HIS WIFE! That one may take a few minutes to penetrate.

6)    When it comes to sex. Let’s be honest, we’re all adults (hopefully). If he is still in the house with his wife, MORE THAN LIKELY, they are sexually active. What’s the big deal you say? Well, think about those morning kisses, or those stolen pecks in the evening… those are drenched with her! No matter what his breath smells like, you cannot GARGLE vagina from your mouth. So you may not fancy kittens, but you definitely know how to tolerate cat.  Oh! And for those of you who have surpassed the ‘condom stage’ and have unprotected sex with him..let’s just say this: He just made the both of your vaginas, sisters.  His FAMILY values were what attracted you to him, right?

7)    He may be the best lover..or the best friend…even the best provider..but what he is NOT, is yours. Many times, women will fully dedicate themselves , into these partial relationships, and they miss out on the man that can actually be available for a full time commitment.  You’ve given this married man his cake and ice cream, leaving you with nothing more than a fancy napkin. You do realize you can’t eat napkins right?

8)    Regardless of how long you’ve known him, or even slept with..even if it was BEFORE he got married….IT DOESN’T MATTER!! You will not get any rewards for being his girlfriend before he got married. THAT only proves that he didn’t see in you, what he saw in his wife, otherwise he would have married you.  And if you just so happen to be arrogant enough to say “NO, I DIDN’T WANT TO BE WITH HIM”, then check yourself, for going back to what you claim you didn’t want.

9)    From a moral standpoint, you have to know that everything comes full circle, and you will pay for everything you do, whether good or bad….whether you can afford it or not. Think of that in advance. Would you want someone throwing themselves in the middle of your marriage? Especially at a vulnerable time?  What about your children? Would you WANT to have to give them that type of talk, that explains how ‘daddy can’t come home, because _____________’? It’s a talk that no mother wants to give, and it should be a talk that no woman wants to cause. You may never understand the value of family until you build your own, and see all of the work that you’ve put into it. It is then that you realize how important marriages and families are, but by then you  two will have already broken down the home.
10)  If by chance, you were offended by anything I’ve said…don’t be, this was merely a letter to my younger self. I challenge you all to be honest and help others with your stories when they come to you in shame; don't knot their redemption in your throat. Speak on it.

 And while you're at it, check out the funny video, "Side Chicks Be Like"

Ejspeaks