I think the worst part about being chosen to reach the masses, whether through the arts or teaching or any other field, is that you find yourself giving to others..to the point that when they are all filled at capacity with swollen bellies, yet to digest all that you have bestowed, you sit there starving. “Who will feed me?” you wonder. “Who will pour into me, now that my vase is dry?” you ask adamantly. I have found myself in the storms of many people, lending an umbrella, dusting off my rain boots for them, and even scavenging for plastic bags for their hair. Yet when it is my storm approaching with no concern for my preparation, help is scarce. How is it that we can encourage others, but cannot encourage our own selves at times? Even on the physical side, how is it that we will give or loan our last $20, but will not spend that same amount on ourselves? I cannot, for the life of me, understand this type of mindset, nor this type of unconditional ‘turning’ for others.
Always turning for others but being too tired to rotate for ourselves. Is it selfish to ignore the calls of friends, who haven’t gotten their lives together? Or the friend with relationship trouble? Is it wrong to deny a relative money, when they have the same type of able body that you have? I think the most frustrating thing about it, is this: Sometimes, people bombard you to the point that there is no room to hurt..no room to feel..no room to experience hardship, because they have created this image of you that is supported, every single time you pray for them, or give them sound advice, or even loan them money. But what about you? After you have given all of these beloved words of encouragement, not even leaving any for you….who will give it back? After you have been an ear for the pettiest to the most offensive situations, who will be an ear to you? And after you have loaned out your last dime, with no money for the simplest item, who will finance just a moment of your struggle?
The sad part about all of this, is that likely, no one will come to your rescue when your life is a conceived twin of perfection. And though it couldn’t be more far from the truth, you will never alter the giver inside of you. Teachers who teach students that refuse to learn, still come back and teach…every single day. Parents, with an undeniable love, still raise children, who’ve already given up on themselves. And when people proclaim to pay you back on (insert false date her, because they never pay you back), you still, some way..find a way to still help others. I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I do know that a car must run on gas (omit electric cars, here). So while you are transporting others and all their baggage, remember to save some gas for yourself. Don't forget to remember you. Keep yourself first sometimes, its not a crime, its actually vital in balance. The principal is quite simple,
Be good to________, and __________ will be good to you.
Insert ‘finances, car, body, marriage, friendship, job, etc, here.
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