I think the worst part about pleasing people, is that we actually try to do it. We actually believe that the most peaceful way to do things is to crop out how we feel, edit what we say, and filter our character. I, myself, am not one for confrontation (as long as you don’t as my roommate from college). I wish we all could be so tied up with our own affairs, that we have no room to become tangled in the affairs of others. People feel so entitled to their opinions and beliefs that they attack you when your opinions and beliefs are not parallel to their own. I don’t like people to give input on things, for which they have no knowledge. I never see the purpose in doing so… For instance:
Lady who is outta her lane: “You really shouldn’t drink cokes, ya know”
Me: But If I didn’t drink my coke, I would have told you how hideous your hair was. I would have also mentioned that your track was similar to a woman who was in the third trimester of pregnancy-CLEARLY SHOWING! I would have also suggested you give Rent-A-Center your cell number, because they called while you were googling how harmful coke was, and wanted me to let you know if you wanted your furniture back, that you would have to pay the outstanding balance, for which you’ve not paid on in months. So…you see…I really should drink cokes. They provide such a peaceful work atmosphere.
Lady who is outta her lane: insert face of shock & shame, here.
Me: Continues to sip coke.
I used to care about what others thought of me..I struggle with it from time to time, even now. People judge me..they cast me to hell…call me fat…magnify my flaws.. But I had to learn one thing: Many people will critique you, but none of them can create you. I am… who and what I am. I make it my business to violently shoot bullets of laughter through a dry and unhappy neighborhood of people who are depressed and weighed down by the realities of life. I couldn’t change who I am, even if I tried. But the fact that people deem it necessary to share their thoughts about me..TO ME..as though I were a contestant on American Idol, while they sit next to Simon Cowell. As if I requested their input..or even asked “hey, you, yes you>> person who will not get me closer to destiny.. person who doesn’t pay my bills…person who doesn’t pass gas, when I eat refried beans, yes you!! Can you please tell me what you think of me? Tell me what you don’t like.. so I can fix it.. even though it took me years to discover and accept myself.. please tell me how you don’t like my jokes.. or the way I wear my hair.. I need you to not like stuff about me!!!”
I have learned to love everything about me. I have learned to accept constructive criticism. And I have learned to ignore those who try and tell me..HOW TO BE ME!!! I can’t change my love for tomatoes or acoustic soul…I can’t change my sense of humor or my shoe size, and I feel bad for people who are still struggling to change JUST TO please everyone else. Stand firm on who you are and believe in every single aspect of yourself, because no one can beat YOU, being YOU. A few years ago, I would have been crushed by anything that someone said about me….so if you were looking to hurt or change me..you should have done it then.
Changing who I am, because of what someone says to me, is like taking a driver’s course from a pedestrian..its like accepting sex advice from a nun.. or asking for relationship advice from a person who’s not in a relationship. That just doesn't make any sense!Final Thought: If what you are doing does not cause harm to others, then do you. If what others do, does not harm you, then let them do the same. It’s really that simple.